Fahey, Douglas Patrick, age 57, of New York, New York, on Sunday,
April 18, 2021.
To know Doug was to love him.
Doug was born at St. Vincent’s Hospital in New York City on September 4, 1963, to delighted parents Theresa Marie (nee Keenan) and Patrick Joseph Fahey. He was the third of the family’s five children but never suffered from middle child syndrome. From early on, Doug had no trouble standing out from the crowd: his eyes were bright blue and he boasted a full head of curly blonde hair. He was especially close to older brother Thomas and younger brother Dylan, and held a special place in the hearts of older sister Christine and younger sister Jennifer.
Doug grew up in Paramus, New Jersey, attending Our Lady of the Visitation grammar school. He loved playing football at Petruska Park and quickly earned a reputation as one of the toughest kids on the field. He was never intimidated by bigger kids and never
backed away from a fight.
In those early years, Doug formed a lasting attachment to two underdogs:
The New York Jets and the New York Mets. He idolized Jets QB Joe Namath, Mets outfielder Jim Hickman and the 1969 Miracle Mets. He never stopped believing.
He loved boxing and could recount rounds from many of Muhammad Ali’s greatest ringside battles. The champ was his favorite boxer and before this last hospitalization,
Doug planned to visit the Muhammad Ali Center in Louisville, Kentucky.
As a kid, Doug regularly snuck into his sisters’ room and rifled through the record collection. He discovered America, Paul Simon and, of course, the Beatles. Like the rest of the USA, the boys were all big fans of the Fab Four. And like their heroes, Tom and Doug picked up guitars. Thus began Doug’s devotion to music. He was gifted, a natural performer who could hear a song and play it back with ease. Brother Tom remembers the day it all began. “Doug came back from his first guitar lesson. He was in fifth grade at that time, but I could see that he had found a lifelong love. His happiest times were spent strumming an acoustic while his friends sang a Beatles’ song.”
With his brothers, Doug began a paper route. They hated it but kept it up because they had plans for that money. It was intended to purchase their very first amplifier. Instead, their Dad returned the papers and made them quit the job. He had hated his OWN paper route and wouldn’t have his sons suffer the same fate. But he gifted the boys that much desired amplifier. The paper route was history and the boys were ready to rock. Their first band was called “Lightening.”
Doug attended Don Bosco Prep in Ramsey, New Jersey. He later described those four years as ‘pure torture.’ But at Bosco he got to know a student named Stan Wiklinski.
Stan remembers an incident from freshman year. “My earliest memory of Doug was Mrs. Kraus's English class. On this particular day, we were a bit rowdy. Mrs. Kraus was very short, 4'9" or 10". At one point she turned to Doug, who was of course cracking up the class with his one liners, and said ‘You know, I've had just about enough of this.’ And without missing a beat, he responded ‘I know, you've had it up to here, right?’ and he put his hand up to the middle of his chest, busting her on how short she was. Mrs. Kraus laughed, she couldn't help herself! The whole class lost it, it was hysterical.”
That was Doug.
After graduating from Bosco, Doug chose to follow his parents and older siblings to the Bronx, attending Fordham University. Doug discovered White Castle and Keating Hall. More importantly, he embraced the Jesuit philosophy. While many of his classmates chased dollar signs, Doug proudly called himself a 'Bobby Kennedy liberal.’ He opened his big heart to those less fortunate. He used his electives to study philosophy, religion and social justice.
Doug joined a band consisting of Fordham pals: John McPartlin as lead singer, Jim Mongan on lead guitar, brother Dylan on drums, Guy D’Aguanno on bass, and Doug on rhythm guitar. They called themselves "Rude Awakening” and played mostly original music. One popular tune was a punk rock version of the classic “King of the Road.” The guys landed one notable gig at a downtown club dubbed “The Dive." Enough said. They hoped to land their big break during an open talent call at the famous CBGB’s, but the call was cancelled.
Doug bumped into another Wiklinski at Fordham. Steve was to become one of the most important people in his life: a gentleman who was with Doug during the best of times and the worst of days. They remained best friends until the end. At Fordham, they performed as a popular musical comedy team- known memorably as “Doug & Steve.” Fordham gave them their own night, a “A Doug & Steve Christmas.” Other notable gigs included Fordham’s twenty-four hour dance marathon. And the duo conceived and performed a fundraiser for POTS Soup Kitchen. As a result, Steve and Doug received Student Leadership Awards from the Dean.
Fordham pal and fellow guitarist Lori Urso joined Doug, Stan, and Steve washing dishes
at Fordham’s cafeteria. This gig came with food and they entertained themselves
singing a capella tunes.
After graduating Fordham, Doug went on to earn a masters degree in Education. He chose to teach in the poorest areas, spending his career in the South Bronx. One student remembered fondly that Mr. Fahey was the teacher who always came in with the best Christmas gifts for his students. He was truly happy when with his students, sharing his love of learning and life. Doug began his teaching career with Humberto Roberts. Their close friendship continued until the end of Doug’s life.
“I first met Doug on September 11, 1989 at Community School 150 in the Bronx. We were both first year teachers. By watching his interactions with the students, it was evident that he was a person who truly cared about them and really enjoyed his job. Up until 2015, when I retired from C.S. 150, parents and former students would still ask me how Mr. Fahey was doing because of how close they knew we were.”
Douglas became a father nearly twenty years ago. And while young Patrick has special needs, Doug took great pleasure in every moment they spent together. In the nineties, Doug began to experience kidney issues. These only worsened. He was fortunate to
spend an increasing amount of time with the Wiklinski family. Soon he was an adopted
family member. With his own parents gone, Stan and Barbara Wiklinski gave him a home
and embraced him. But Doug was never healthy enough to return to teaching.
Doug was a loyal, loving, reliable friend and he cultivated and maintained strong friendships. Stan recalls an act of kindness that stays with him to this day.
“Somewhere in the mid-nineties, I lost my license for a year. This made picking up
my young son Matt very difficult (he was 8 or 9). Doug would drive all the way from the Bronx, in his blue Cadillac, and pick me up in New Jersey and then pick up Matt. Next he would drive me to wherever I needed to go. Many times he'd drive us back to the Bronx and we'd spend the day with him, either in the apartment or at Fordham playing football or soccer. He did it for a year. A true friend. He would always put change on the floor in the back for Matt to "find", and Matt would always look for it.”
“When Doug was in the hospital,” his sister Chris shares,” I often felt more like
his social secretary than his health care advocate. The phone calls, texts and e-mails
never stopped. And Doug wanted to hear about everyone who called and how to get back to them.” Doug got to know Margaret Cullen when she was a bartender at The Harbor House. But she went back to school and became a nurse practitioner. “Margaret was always his first call when he didn’t feel well, the one medical professional he knew he could truly trust,” according to Chris.
Before the pandemic, in September of 2019, many of Doug’s friends and family
gathered with him to celebrate his birthday and their friendship. It was a night of love, laughter, music and memories, held at The Wiklinski’s. Having lost Doug nearly two years later, we will treasure the good times we shared. Doug was a gift, on loan from our Lord.
And now he is truly headed home.
Says Steve, “Doug used to say that we had been friends for over thirty years and never had an argument. A mild embellishment perhaps, but only that. We simply enjoyed each other's company. When we got together, the comedy began and the worries of life would drift away. About my friend, if I were allowed only a one word description, it would be kind. I searched for him when I needed my spirit uplifted, and he never let me down. Doug, you touched many people's hearts, in very special ways.”
We didn’t have enough time with you, Doug, and we miss you already. We’ll look
out for Patrick and pray that one day, we’ll see you again. For now, no more pain
and no more suffering. God bless you, Doug. We love you.